Grandma Cutler 04 February 1928 - 19 March 2013

10 years since that fateful day

10 years, can it be? Oh yes, it can. Man, a lot has gone down in those years. What a ride! Bobby and I out on the four-wheeler, losing his hat and his checkbook, and enjoying the west desert sunset and stars. I know I was never the same again. I'm pretty sure I've had that effect on him as well.

Tomorrow is our six month wedding anniversary. Times a-flyin' by. I was going to get so much done and accomplish way more than I have. Ah well, I'm not dead yet!

I've picked up the plow - here's to not looking back!

A couple of months ago, I walked into the gym with my 44 oz. container in hand, ready to dump (or, let's be honest, quickly finish) my diet soda and fill it with water for my work out. My personal trainer, Dom, was standing there and asked, completely flabbergasted, "Is that soda?" I ashamedly admitted that yes, it was. He said, "you know that steals the calcium from your bones, right?" I replied that no, I did not know that. Maybe the truth is that I had an idea that it did but had never been told in such plain language. Previous to this time, I had been known to drink two and sometimes three of these monster 44 ouncers a day. Not only full of the bone killing carbonation but also full of caffeine and diet yuck stuff. I am confident that I was not doing myself any favors. I am indebted to Dom for boldly calling me to repentance. 


I have recently begun reading The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball. Wowwie!! Why did I wait so long to read this book??? It is fabulous and I have not a shred of pride left in me - well, unfortunately, there probably still is some. I've been particularly hard to live with, I think, because of how hard I am judging myself and judging others. I hope that you can forgive me for all that I've done wrong in my life. I'm not perfect at all. I want everyone to be able to feel the love of our Savior. I love you too.

At all times, in all things and in all places

Mother Nature's Bleeding Heart

No small task, let me tell you. As a mother, wife, daughter, sister, neighbor, friend, employee and customer, I find it rather difficult to always remember to stand as a witness of Christ at all times, in all things and in all places. I lose my temper on a regular basis. I have little mercy to give when it comes to people I don't understand. I try to be good but find myself wanting, always. And, in the midst of all of these inadequacies, I find myself surrounded by people and things who remind me to try harder, not to give up and to keep going. Wassup with that? oooooeeee Wassup with that? Was SUP with that? (SNL reference)

Dani

Today is one year since my little angel returned to Heavenly Father. I miss her so much! In life's ironies and funny twists and turns, I was starting to feel very sad this morning; my thoughts were all going rather negatively until I read something that my childhood idle, William Shatner, said. And I quote, "If you are healthy, if you're in a joyful state yourself, then all of life is funny. Taking the irony of what our final fate is from the very beginning - when you are born you become aware you're going to die - that awareness is itself absurd, so that given the right attitude, all of life can be humorous. It's something to aim for." Isn't it funny that you can find comfort in the strangest of places? For me, today, it was in the USA Weekend publication.

Two Months Tomorrow

Alexandra - now 8 weeks old - has her two month appointment on Wednesday. It seems like an eternity has gone by since I last posted - not that I've done all that much, just that I have been so removed from computer-land. Alex is asleep on my lap right now and I'm loving every second of it.

The pharmacist asked me tonight how my babies were. :o(

Danielle was amazing. I told her that I loved her all the time. Dr. Anderson reminded me that there aren't many people who can say that they've been loved every single day of their life. Danielle was loved SO much and she loved SO very much in return. I think that how she lived and for as long as she lived tells us all how much she loved us. I'm so grateful that I was able to spend those beautiful crazy eight days with her and I'm also grateful for all of you and your support and love.

Pray for Danielle

This is a picture that the nurses in the NICU took of the babies - Danielle on the right, Alexandra on the left. The girls are seven days old today!

Danielle needs everyone to pray for her so that she can feel the peace she needs to be able to let go and go home to Heavenly Father. Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us. I love you all very much.